And so, because watching indie films on Netflix+ a bottle of wine + cleaning out one's closet equals a brief moment of clarity, I will finally be composing a blog entry that has been about six days in the works. As in, I wanted to say something profound regarding New Year's, but ended up not for various reasons such as:
a) writing and then realizing it was shit.
b) other people reading it and realizing it was shit (which, eff you, my resolution for this blog is to just write what's really there, sans sugar-coating)
c) being in situations where although my brain is thinking about writing, my body is physically unable to conduct such a feat at the time.
To be honest, my intentions for how to proceed with the New Year are very vague and not really itemized. Typically, I am one to take every opportunity for new beginnings, with things like my birthday becoming pinnacles for new progressions towards self-improvement and a change in attitude that will eventually make me happier. This is manifested in a literal list, written in one of my many notebooks, and of course never reflected upon again until it is too late.
This year I haven't written down a single ambition. In a culture where we typically endeavour to lose weight, make more money, find true love and harness the meaning of happiness on a year-to-year basis, I have only decided that I need to be more of me, in every way I know how. Five days in and it's already been hard, but in this brief moment of clarity, I feel (and hope) that it's just around the corner.
- T.
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