Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Possibilities are Endless.

What would you do if your personal abilities were limitless?

Today, like most Sundays, my boyfriend and I spent the day together. Movie, lunch and me and him times is pretty much my ideal day, albeit unproductive in other aspects. Still, <3!

ANYWAY, We decided that we would watch the film "Limitless", based on some recommendations and some comments floating around the web. I feel like the film itself must have been poorly marketed or whatever, since it's not in the top five this week and I also didn't really hear much about it until recently.

What this post is REALLY about, however, is the central concept of the movie. Edward Morra (Bradley Cooper) is presented with a clear pill that opens up the percentage of the human brain that usually goes unused. Even though this statement was immediately debunked by my boyfriend (a connoisseur of miscellaneous information), Edward the bum of an unsuccessful writer becomes motivated, tidy, clean, successful, highly intelligent and even talented in the span of thirty seconds.

And so, the film presents to its audience the exceedingly tempting idea of a drug that taps into all of our unused potential, ambition and perception. Despite all of the crazy things that happened to Edward Morra as a result of his using the drug, I was definitely sold.

I'd learn languages. Retain and build on what I know of English, Mandarin Chinese and French, and move onto Spanish, Italian, Dutch, German, Japanese, Bulgarian, Swahili, you name it.

I'd break into any field of expertise I wanted. I've always had interests in literature and media...but with a pill like that I'd be able to overcome any intellectual flaws, thereby being able to do math and inherently biology, zoology, marine biology...and act in Shakespearean plays on the side since my confidence and ability to tap into emotions would be uninhibited.

I'd become more wealthy, according to my own new-found resourcefulness, and work on retiring both my parents early so they'd never have to work again. I'd settle my grandmothers into dream homes and care for them in any ways needed as time went on.

I'd learn instruments, like Edward Morra. Piano, drums, violin. I'd become a virtuoso.

With those kind of abilities, nothing would be a mere attempt anymore. Everything would be a complete success, a triumph and not an effort, just another ordinary thing you can do, like eating, sleeping or breathing.

And yet, the movie inspired me. If Edward wasn't so lazy and unkempt, he could have been capable without the drug. The movie seemed to imply that much of the knowledge that emerged were things he'd already encountered in his life. Sure, there are some things (that I don't want to give away) that were impossible for a regular human to achieve...but languages, organization, self-respect...these are all things that we can have.

That's what got me to finally update my blog, and from now on there will be nothing but me bullying myself to get things done. Wish me luck!

Are you just as unsatisfied with your own attempts at self-improvement sometimes? Shouldn't we just make the most of who we are? Would YOU follow in the footsteps of Bradley Cooper as Bradley Cooper, but on drugs?!

Afterall, the possibilities would be endless.

Love, Tasha.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

What I Do in the Shower.

So, aside from the obvious, I find that my time in the shower tends to be devoted to the contemplation of life's most complicated matters.

For some reason some of the deepest thinking I do takes place under a stream of hot water, almost like a state of hypnotism; I soul-search, I ponder, I resolve!

Sometimes a thesis for an essay will pop into my brain and I will then curse because I have no pen and paper for which to write this fleeting moment of brilliance down. Other times, I will mull over a world issue or some sort of controversy with someone I know and formulate a strong stance on the subject for which I can later present.

Today, I was thinking about myself in a very psychoanalytical type of way. Stemming from thoughts of my adorable boyfriend, I got to thinking about past relationships and their effects on my psyche. Sometimes I think about this when I wonder why I have the insecurities that sometimes plague me.

The main problem, or at least what *I* thought was the problem at the time, was the level of expectation I had for past relationships. I had an idealized vision of what it should be like, and this was backed by skeptical input from friends and desperate internet searches that only seemed to support an indifferent stance on what is considered commitment in a relationship. I began to try and pick apart this internal conflict between what I want and what the status quo claims I *should* want in a relationship.

But THEN I realized that I have exactly what I want now, which leads me to think that there was nothing really wrong with me in the first place, which means that I can send out a collective "screw you" to all who ever a) couldn't meet my needs and b) thought I was crazy for having such needs. XD

As I stood soapy and wet and bedraggled in the shower, I also wondered why my leg was bleeding. As it turns out, deep thoughts and leg razors are a terrible combination!

...think about it.


Tasha xoxo