If you're anything like me, you might find yourself struggling to show people who you are as opposed to being pushed over.
With a few crazy days at work and a handful of unnecessary complications at my post-secondary institution (not to mention just life in a general sense), it is becoming more and more apparent to me that I actually do have to "raise my voice", so to speak- in order to be heard.
Now, I guess I can see why people have a hard time not being condescending in my presence- being a woman of short stature and youthful appearance (oh, you!), it is not unusual that I face everyday difficulties ranging from a customer questioning my validity as a cashier to being I.D.'d when ordering a Caesar (my FAVOURITE!) at a restaurant or bar or what have you.
Even so, the truth is that I am a 23 year old WOMAN who is literally on the cusp of venturing out into the big, bad world of so-called reality. There should be nothing holding me back from taking life by the balls.
One of my bosses always tells me that I shouldn't let the things disgruntled customers do or say get to me; but it's much more than the initial insult- it's the simple fact that there are many people who don't take me seriously.
Well, I'm no professional at this whole "I'm here and can legally drink beer- get over it" thing, but I've decided that by practicing my man-up skills, I will eventually be naturalized in the ways of self-assertion and the age-old act of holding my own. Here are some things I do that I like to think are working, as applicable to the workplace, school, career searching and casual scenarios...maybe you can do them too:
1. "Bodily Functions"
- literally stand up tall- they tell me that posture implies power. HUZZAH!
- eye contact- constantly looking away really does give people the impression that you are either shady or f*cking scared.
- relax! making one's self into a ball is not going to make complicated interactions with other people go away. Also, you look like a tool.
2. Climate Control
- this week alone, I have been yelled at by like, 3 customers for things that I literally am either bound my employer to adhere to, or simply cannot control. speaking calm and rationally about these facts keeps you from curling up instinctively into a fetal position, and makes other people at least partially aware that you do in fact have a firm position.
3. Always be SPORTIN' or ROCKIN' something
- Some post-modern theorists assert the idea that we are becoming "cyborgs"...extending ourselves through the things we use/wear- I say the future is now!
- yeah yeah, it's not all about your external appearance...but it still helps!
- Whether it's my knee-high boots, a delicious shade of nail polish, winged-eyeliner or just a plain ol' good hair day, I always make sure I leave the house with something about me that I can "rock".
- This kind of thing can make you feel all kinds of awesome/hardcore.
4. You Are the Hottest Person You Know
- Oh me! I can be so secretly vain that it's hilarious.
- I dunno about you, but SELF-LOVE really cheers me up.
- On the rare occasions that I can achieve this mentality (remember, it's the practice that will make it last), I feel like one of the most intelligent, lovely and resourceful people that I know.
- you can remind yourself of this by revisiting your favourite goals and achievements...for example, I got TWO A+'s today, ladies and gentleman. I f*cking rock!
- . . . okay, so, in execution, it looks easy...but it can take time!
These are the things I am trying on for size right now. An honourable mention might be thinking about other people that inspire you. I have a secret crush on actress Keira Knightley- thinking about her confident mannerisms makes me want to...emulate her, obviously! Don't be a pervert.
Feeling like you are being talked down to, or not taking seriously, can be a pretty discouraging for anyone. If this happens to you often, take it upon yourself to let the world know you're here! I feel betterrr already.
P.S. Happy Birthday Mummy!!!! Hope you had a great day!