Looking Backwards.

When it comes to looking back
It's a terrible habit indeed
When you reminisce about he who lacked
and could not suit your needs

It's a terrible thought to ponder
That you let him(s) get so close
And you really begin to wonder
Why the fuck it was he(s) you chose.

He(s) said you were a different person
And perhaps this fact became true
Particularly when he(s) spoke of ANOTHER person(s)
Instead of focusing on you.

Why should he(s) deserve who you really are
When this whole time you tried to be you,
He(s) imagined others with which he'd go far
Not giving a shit about what he could lose

His('s) easily swayed attention
was less than a desirable trait,
Affecting one's own self-perception
And breeding an impeccable hate

You don't get to see past the gate
When you're too busy with your head up your arse
Altering my psychological state
and treating my feelings as farce.

but alas, it was all over ages ago
Dark times and lame lads behind
My real self now only will show
To the real man I happened to find.

Comments

Arghity Argh.

BAH. I always, always do this. Plan to go to bed at 11p.m. and then not. Until 2. It's almost 2 now. Too much to think about. So much to dooo. I'm a communications major, so obviously, in my program, we talk about the many ways in which people communicate with each other. Lately I've been confronted by a lot of theoretical discussion about the internet, and how anyone can blog. We watched this vid where this guy describes a theory called "mass amateurisation". Well, without getting TOO far into it (less I go cross-eyed), this theory essentially says that literary merit will eventually go to shit with the fact that anyone can publish themselves on the internet. Which is kiiinda true, no? I am at an impasse- with myself! It's true that ANYONE can say they write because they have a blog. But then ANYONE can create a blog. What's the point? It's not like we're more important or something. And it's not like people read it, either. Well, except for m...

2022

As a teenager, one of my biggest fears was an airborne disease that would wreak havoc on the world as we knew it. Back then, SARS was a thing, and some other weird things that I can't remember happened that year that brought me to my naiive, self-absorbed and dysfunctional little knees one afternoon while watching CNN. I was overwhelmed. I asked my mother why it felt like the entire world was collapsing. The drama. ...and now, look where we are. It's 2022, baby - literally any fucking thing goes. - T.

L i t tle T h ings.

I want to blog again. But I always seem to be stuck. Re-reading some of my old posts the other day made me realize that I always write about the same things. The worst part is that these things are things that I dislike about my life. Even more terrifying, as indicated by the timeline of my previous posts, these things have been bothering me for a very long time. So now, I want to tell my "voice" to grow up. The only crappy relationship I would like to address now for the first (and hopefully last) time is the one I have with myself. What I needed previously and still need to find for real, is my self-respect. My esteem. My ability to just "be". And these are my new principles for blogging. No angst-fuelled rambles. Just life, as it is from day-to-day. It's time to take control, and indulge in all experiences, whether they be big or small (someone brings you kiwiis in an attempt to make your day brighter. Definitely worked). If only I could bottle such a man...

.M o a r Than a Wo m an.

Search This Blog