Tell Me What You Know About Dreamin', Dreamin'

I wasn't defined by how I was with you. So why is it that people expect me to be something I can't be?

How is it that we got so far that I now can't be me? This is why we had to stop in the first place...

If I "don't deserve" you, I must be doomed to something more terrible.

This week is exam week.

Social networking event was fun. Met a reporter who tried to get me to profess my love for Corey Haim at his funeral. Aawwwkward.

Summertime is coming soon. Summer time is game time, in more ways than one. =D

I'll keep you posteed.

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Daydreams.

While I was out killing myself in an attempt to jog yesterday, I was listening to the radio on my ipod. There was a commercial for LottoMax, a sweet-ass lottery whose jackpot was 25 million. I'm convinced we all do the same thing when we start to think about what we would do if we won the lottery. We think of the immediate things we'd take care of. Then we think of all the things we want to do, but never really imagined possible without money. We run away with the possibilities, we lose ourselves. As I head to work for my evening shift, I stop at the mall for a few of my basic things. Body wash, razors, bus tickets. And while I contemplate how on Earth I will afford myself after I graduate, I buy a LottoMax ticket. Suddenly, my mind fills with something not quite euphoric, because I haven't won my $25 million yet. Instead I slip off into a cozy world where a warm and fuzzy feeling fills me up. I've paid off my university tuition. I've stopped living with family memb...

:: Wounds and Such

This post is about scars. Today, at some point, I was thinking about scars. Everyone has them. One scar is from aimlessly tumbling down a ditch in childhood. Another one on my knee was acquired from falling on ice. My favourite knee scar is comprised of three parts- 1) the long remnants of a botched incision, 2) a hole in the kneecap and 3) two little "x" shaped things above aforementioned incision. The story- at the age of fifteen, I was having the time of my life. My friends and I left school property to hang at a park. I ran and ran and laughed and laughed and rode the swing and jumped and soooooooared through the air and then landed, hard. Nothing about me has ever been the same since. They reconstructed a ligament in my right knee. I like to think the scar signifies a sort of bravery- repeated needles, an epidural, a night in a lonely hospital bed, hallucinating by way of injected morphine doses. How badass. There is a small scar on my eyelid that only *I* can notice, w...

L i t tle T h ings.

I want to blog again. But I always seem to be stuck. Re-reading some of my old posts the other day made me realize that I always write about the same things. The worst part is that these things are things that I dislike about my life. Even more terrifying, as indicated by the timeline of my previous posts, these things have been bothering me for a very long time. So now, I want to tell my "voice" to grow up. The only crappy relationship I would like to address now for the first (and hopefully last) time is the one I have with myself. What I needed previously and still need to find for real, is my self-respect. My esteem. My ability to just "be". And these are my new principles for blogging. No angst-fuelled rambles. Just life, as it is from day-to-day. It's time to take control, and indulge in all experiences, whether they be big or small (someone brings you kiwiis in an attempt to make your day brighter. Definitely worked). If only I could bottle such a man...

.M o a r Than a Wo m an.

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